I have recently read Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job!" by Alphie Kohn. Although it was for a school project I have learned a few things about raising children that I have not known before. I have a few things to say about the article entirely.
Kohn puts together an effective argument by first pointing out some of the problems that exists in the adults that raise children. Kohn shows us how easy it is to say “good job” to a little child for almost anything great or small that the child accomplishes. Kohn states, “... has become almost a verbal tic.” In describing how easy it is for us to make it a habit and not think about the effect it may have on a child during their prime years of development.
Kohn does not ignore the alternative argument however. He addresses it by saying that there is still a need in “…supporting and encouraging children, the need to love them and hug them and help them feel good about themselves.” However, Kohn continues down his path of logos in logically explaining that many times our use of praise as adults is to subtly influence and at times take advantage of children to bring a certain outcome. For example, we praise when a child does something right to the point where praise is expected and the right actions and behavior become a means to an end for the child to receive the praise they come to expect.
Throughout this article Kohn primarily uses logos to drive his argument. Many times he points to studies and scientific research to point out the effect both good and bad that the use of praise can bring. His thoughts are not only informative but well structured with out any major assumptions being made.
A counter argument might be in pointing out how a lack of any psitive reinforcement might bring to a child. A total lack might leave the child with little to no self worth and confusion early in life on what might be acceptable and valuable to others around him or her.
Kohn does point this out however. Near the end he offers ways that an adult might point out the effects of the child’s behavior and decisions and allow him or her to make a a judgment in their own minds before the adult makes it for them. This allows further development of a child’s outlook on others and more of a dependence on themselves rather than a dependence on parents to make immediate conclusions for them.
As I said I did learn a few things about raising children. I am convinced that a measured and more constructive approach to praising or responding to a child should be considered instead of a subconscious answer. Until a more convincing counter argument is given to me I would have to agree with Kohn.
